12 Ways to Reconnect With Your Erring Spouse (Guess Blogger)

Good Morning, I would like to introduce to you Sarah:

My name is Sarah Ishaku. I set up this blog purposely to provide helpful advice and resources for women who are desiring to build strong marriage relationships. After being married for close to 3 decades, I can testify that a strong marriage relationship not just happen; it takes a woman who draws her strength from Christ to build it.

https://www.thewomanworth.com/12-ways-to-reconnect-with-your-erring-spouse/

Are you almost giving up on your spouse? Do you wish you would have known his person before answering yes I do? Maybe you have already labelled your marriage as a failure because you think your spouse can never change. Perhaps you have made all effort to make him behave as you expect but your effort is not making any impact on him. I understand how unresponsive emotions can be in such kind of a relationship. It can be frustrating trying to connect with someone whose attitude irritates you.
We all cherish a relationship where a partner does what you want, but in most cases, we do not get it our own way. What do we do when the situation is not as we expected; should we refrain from the relationship? I don’t think so, there must be a way out, and that is what I want to share with you in this post.
So, this is the way out:
A. Facts You need to know about a man.

photo-nic-co-uk-nic-224385-unsplash-700x4671. Know that a man hates to be confronted by his wife.
Your spouse may be doing the wrong thing but he wouldn’t like you to challenge him. He already knows and doesn’t want you to confirm it for him. He would try to be on the defensive side so that you do not intimidate him.
2. Know that too much of complaining makes a man hardened.

When you complain a lot about his attitude, he may want to indulge in it more, to prove to you that he cannot be intimidated by your actions. So he would want to prove that he is a man.
3 Know that men tend to ignore the problem in a marriage.
A man would prefer to be somewhere to find comfort than face the problem in his marriage. He would rather dodge the problem than stand and face it. Check it, how many men go for marriage counselling on their own without their wives pushing them?
A man will always show that he is in charge of the affairs of the family.
No matter your effort to make things work for the family, a man would not want you to take the glory. He wants you to accredit it to him. Failure to do that amounts to a conflict of interest which may push him farther away from you.

A man tends to focus more on work, money, and sports.
A man cherishes his work, money and sports. Usually these three things may take his attention off from you at a point in time. If you try to force yourself on him ahead of those three things it may result in disagreement, and he may accuse you of being dominant.
B. Ways you can Make Positive Change on Your Spouse.

alvin-mahmudov-627291-unsplash-700x467

Accept the fact that every human being has limitation.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.Rom.3:23 If we claim we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not us.1 John1:8 When you understand that we all have limitations, you would not easily judge your spouse’s failures. You would appreciate the fact that you are likely to make mistakes also. We are only declared righteous by what Christ did for us; it is not our own effort. Instead of judging your spouse, pray for him.
Instead of dwelling on his negative side, dwell more on his positive side.
No matter how bad a person is, he must have his good side. So, appreciate his good qualities and ask God for wisdom to help him overcome the negative side.
Don’t just complain about everything.

Instead of complaining about everything out of annoyance, let him know clearly the attitude in him that irritates you. While you do that, you must do it with respect. Approach him in the right way and at the right time. For example, if your husband drinks, don’t wait until he is drunk before you complain about it. Instead, talk to him when he is calm, and in a good mood, and respectfully tell him about the effects of his attitude on your married relationship.
4. Have confidence in your spouse
Let your husband know you believe in him. Don’t relegate him to a low status simply because he is failing in some of his responsibilities. No matter the shortcoming of a man, he wants his wife to believe in his capabilities.
5. Accept him.
Accept your spouse for who he is without conditions. If you fail to accept him, he would always go to where he feels relevant. We all want to be accepted by the people around us, every person wants to be relevant.
6. Allow Christ to have control over your life.
Learn to depend on Jesus in everything you do, and stop depending on your emotions. Jesus is the prince of peace; if you remain in him, you would enjoy his peace that surpasses the one you expect from your husband.
7. Take prayer seriously.
Be a woman of prayer; never relent in your prayers. Take time to pray for yourself, and your spouse. By this, God will make His grace available to you, and you will be surprised how great an impact you would make in the life of your spouse. The changes may not be automatic, but gradually they will manifest.
Above all, no matter how you feel, always remember that God loves you, and He means well for you. Imagine God giving His only begotten Son to die in your place so that in him you might have a life. If God can do that for you, what else would He deny you? Surely, He will grant you peace and a loving relationship with your spouse.
Remain blessed.

 

Advertisements

Salvation through Christ

John 4.png     When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her,Will you give me a drink? (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink. (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)  Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.                                               John 4:7-10

When the Holy Spirit of God begins working in our conscience, we hear God speak to us. We instinctively know it is God, and we know that He is wrestling with us. Our blunted consciences are shaken back to life and we become aware of the wrong in our lives. We feel the necessity of change, and know we dare not carry on living as we are. God speaks to us, yet often we are unwilling to answer him.

We see the steep road and the narrow gate and we refuse to give God a positive answer. We are willing to listen but not to do. We have no real remorse or sorrow about our sin. That is why Christ says to us, “If only you knew…” If only you knew who is talking to you and what He wants to give you! he offers you the Water of Life–free! 

The woman’s sensual thirst was unquenchable, but Christ could quench the thirst of her soul. He gives streams and rivers in the desert. He calls, “If anyone is thirsty, let them come to Me.” Christ gives us Living Water that cleanses us from our sins and grants us forgiveness. How this woman yearned to be purified! Christ’s Living water makes us fruitful in His service to live for Him, to work and to witness for Him. If only you knew how much He loves you! How badly He wants to set you free and save you. Look up at the cross and see His pierced hands and feet, and know for sure He loves you deeply.

Prayer: Lord Jesus you laid down your life for me at Calvary, I have found shelter and salvation in your wonderful protection. I ask you to come into my heart and quench my thirst for “Living Water”.                   Amen

Grace and Peace to You My Friends

NEW YEAR

new-yearsToday is New Year’s Eve more than eight hours away here in my hometown to the started to a brand New Year. This is a time in our lives in which we can reflect over the past year, or even the past few years in our lives. If you could, would you change anything in your past, I know I would. As we begin to celebrate a New Year, this as well as everyday brand new day is a gift from God. You see yesterday is gone forever we can not go back and change a thing even thro we wish we could, to do over the mistakes we made in our lives would be great, but we can not. Tomorrow well, this is not promise to any of us here on earth. However today which is call P-R-E-S-E-N-T is our gift from God, and as I ask myself what will I do with such a wonderful gift that was given to me just for this one day, you can also ask yourself. The present is a gift from God, and what we do with it will be our gift back to God.

Each day we have hope from God and hope as things unfold in our own lives. As I began to search the scriptures with words of hope I come across many different ones. The first comes from the Old Testament in the book of Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. Another is in the New Testament the book of Romans 12:12  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Also Hebrews 6:19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before is, has entered on our behalf, He has become a high priest forever. God has promise you and me if we seek him with all of our hearts we will find him. Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. These are words of courage and of hope for me in my own journey each and everyday with our Lord. The baby we celebrated last week in a manager grows up and gives hope to all of his people. Jesus knows all to well how hard it is to live here on earth and their are days too many days that all of us would like to throw the towel in and just to give up. But my friend Jesus doesn’t want any of us to simply to give up with our life, it is all to precious for all.  When your life or even mine gets to hard for us and you wondered to yourself why should I bother, I am telling you this bring all your worries and cares to God himself. He understand your pain, your loneliness, your broken heart, he understands what it is like to be poor ( he was born surrounded with animals in a stable). He knows every sin that you and I have ever committed in our lives and what we will do in the future, and Jesus says to you,  My precious child, I love YOU. I concord death, I have defeated the enemy himself (Satan) and you have hope in me.  Here are some words to a song you can find on YOU Tube by Aaron Shust

I meet with you and my soul sings out, as your word throws doubt far away,

I sing to you and my heart cries, Holy Hallelujah, father, you’re near

My hope is in you Lord, all the day long, I won’t be shaken,

A peace that passes understanding is my song, and I sing my hope is in you Lord.

For me when life seems so difficult and overwhelming songs of Praises to my Lord, my voice lifts up to sing, and then all my troubles seems so far away, as I turn my eyes towards Jesus and I once again have the hope that he has promise to me.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS

GRACE AND PEACE