What I Learned from Inability to Accept Help (Guess Blogger)

My name is Rebekah Lynn, and as a Woman of God and a single mother of three, my life revolves around serving God and my family. But it wasn’t always this way, my life and my story is far from perfect…but by the Grace of God, I have overcome many obstacles in my life that could have completely destroyed me.  I am normally a very private person, and I don’t usually like to share a lot. But as a saved woman, and a disciple of Christ I realized that my life is not about me. And once you have come to learn the truth about what Jesus has done for us, you have to share it. So that’s what I’m doing…I’m sharing His love and the transformational work He has done and will continually do in me.

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One day I ordered an Uber when I had my double stroller with me. After putting my children in the car I then head towards the trunk. I start to fold it up to put it inside of the trunk when the Uber driver comes over and asks me if I’d like his help. I politely tell him “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. Another day I’m about to walk into my grandmother’s house carrying my baby in his car seat, his diaper bag, my purse and a bag of food. My father who was already outside asked to help me, and I replied: “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. No matter if I am at the grocery store, laundry mat, in my home, or even someone offering to hold the door open for me I always reply, “No thank you, I’ve got it!”

An inability to accept help

Well one day after refusing to accept help, it dawned on me that this indeed was exactly what I was doing, refusing to accept help. Especially from men. I began to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Do I think I’m too good for the help? No, not at all. Am I even realizing at that moment that someone is offering to make things a little easier for me? No, I don’t think I do. So as I sat in deep thought, I realized I had many reasons for doing such things but I’ll only name 3:

#1

I am a single mother and I have been for almost 9 years now. I literally do everything myself. Late nights, early mornings, doctor’s appointments, parent/teachers conferences, sports, EVERYTHING. I do it all.

#2

I was raised by a single mother. My grandmothers are single mothers, although they the have all been married after the divorce they became single mothers. My aunts, cousins, all my major influences of womanhood and motherhood have been from single mothers. The strong black woman.

#3

I am not very trusting of people, especially men. Because of life experiences, I tend to believe people always have a hidden agenda. Some men think that a single woman with children must be damaged, insecure, or weak. And out of protection for myself and my children, I naturally have a guard up against men.

For example, I lived in Texas for a year by myself with no male family members around. I couldn’t go to the grocery store or even church without some male thinking I needed their assistance. One time a man at this church I had been to a few times and was considering joining offered to give me rides to places because he had noticed I didn’t have a car at the time. He insisted I needed help getting to stores for my children’s necessities and “maybe one day you’ll invite me over for dinner”. Of course, I declined, I also told his Pastor on him and never returned to that church

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Accepting healing

After analyzing these reasons, I began to recognize God was revealing things that needed to be healed. Although I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being a strong independent woman. Or a strong independent black woman for that matter, I do not want to be unable to accept help.  No one wants to block their own blessings. Not only that but I will be married one day and I do not want to carry that type of baggage into a marriage. Yes, I said baggage because for me it would be. It is a biblical truth that the woman is the helpmate, but a husband is a wife’s security and support. How would I be emotionally available to accept that level of support if I cannot accept the small, noncommittal instances right now?

God was also and most importantly revealing to me my level of trust and submission to Him. Now, of course, being a saved woman I know that I am nothing without GOD and I need Him every single day. But if I think I can handle everything by myself, when do I need God? Where do my faith and complete trust in Him come in? God desires for us to not only realize we need him for everything but for us to act like we know! And He WANTS us to need him for EVERYTHING. I can’t live a life completely dependent on God if I am still trying to be the one in control.

Surrendering control

So I began pouring out my heart before Him, being completely vulnerable and surrendered. I laid all the things I TRY to control at his feet, my insecurities, and worries and even wrote each one out on a piece of paper. This was an exercise I read about that truly helped me.Then I laid them out one by one before Him while praying on my knees. I want to be fully surrendered to God, I AM sold out! I want His will to be done in my life not my own. And to be an empty vessel for Him to use however He may choose. I cannot be empty by holding on to control. And that includes accepting the help He provides no matter how it comes. Trusting that he will not leave me to figure it out on my own (Joshua 1:9) and to give me the discernment to test the true intentions of the person offering. (Proverbs 18:15)

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Healing is a process

I know it will be a process but as soon as I accepted the healing God offered, it already began. It will be exciting to see the changes, and the growth as I continually become the woman of God He wants me to be. I’ve been learning that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. Being able to realize you can’t do it on your own and submitting that control to God is key to our trust in Him. And recognizing that blessings come in many forms no matter how “small” they may seem. I want to be grateful at all times for all things God has done for me, even in the hard times.

So I hope you all will keep me in your prayers as I continue this lifetime journey of being like Christ. And I will continue to pray for you. I Pray we all continue to grow into the people God called us to be, and living our best lives! God bless!

Thank you so much Rebekah Lynn for your post, you can find more about Rebekah Lynn and her writings at  xorebekahlynn.com

 

 

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Hold Me Together (Guess Blogger)

Let us welcome back Pami Clark https://pamijosword.wordpress.com/

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We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.
He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he’s there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.
Colossians 1:15-20

When I think about all the things God “holds together”, I get overwhelmed.
I mean, He holds
EVERYTHING.
TOGETHER.
He holds the oceans in their place. If He didn’t, the waters would swallow us all up.
He holds the planets together, ever so delicately…
Because one wrong move of a planet to left or to the right would mean instant destruction of the entire human race!!!!!

So, knowing how He holds such massive and important things like oceans and planets in their perfect places….
Should make it fairly easy for us to trust Him to hold US together, too!
But I know I often don’t.
Instead, I feel most days that I am simply FALLING APART….
Not being “held together” at all!
I feel as “broken and dislocated” as I could possibly be.
I remember watching the movie, “The Impossible”.

t was the story of a family of five, who are tragically separated by a fierce tsunami in Thailand in 2004.
The furious rage of that storm was CONTROLLED by God.
If you lived through that , or watched the movie, it doesn’t SEEM like God is in control of ANY of it! So many people died, or were lost forever.
But yet, it was very clear that God DID have the power and control to rescue each member of this family, and untie them in the end.

It looked “IMPOSSIBLE “!
But with God,
There is no such thing.
So, today…
If you are broken…
If you feel like the things or people in your life are tearing you apart
Hold on to the God,
Who is literally, figuratively, and physically

Holding You!

 

 

The Heart of Worship

 

Romans 6.pngIn the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourselves to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and offer every part of yourselves to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.      Romans 6:11-14

The heart of worship is surrender. Surrender is an unpopular word, disliked almost as much as the word submission. It implies losing, and no one wants to be a loser. Surrender evokes the unpleasant imagines of admitting defeat in battle, forfeiting a game, or yielding to a stronger opponent. The word is almost always used in a negative context. In today’s world we are taught early in our lives to never give up, or never give in. so we don’t hear much about surrendering. If winning is every thing (like in sports), surrendering is just unthinkable. We would rather talk about winning, succeeding, overcoming, and conquering than yielding, submitting, obeying and surrendering. But to surrendering to God is the heart of worship. It is the natural response to God’s amazing love and mercy. WE give ourselves to him, not out of fear or duty, but in love, “because he first loved us”. True worship bringing God pleasure–happens when you give yourselves completely to God.  Offering yourselves to God is what worship is all about. This act of personal surrender is called many things, consecration, making Jesus your Lord, taking up your cross, dying to self, God wants all of you, not just part of you, he wants all of you. Everybody eventually surrenders to something or someone. If not to God, you will surrender to the opinions or expectations of others, to money, to resentment, to dear, or to your own pride, lusts or ego. You were designed to worship God, and if you fail to worship him, you will create other things (idols) to give your life to. You are free to choose what you surrender to, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice. If God is going to do his deepest work in you, it will begin with this. So give it all to God, your past regrets, your present problems, your future ambitions, your fears, dreams, weaknesses, habits, hurts, and hang-ups. Put Jesus Christ in the driver’s seat of your life and take your hands off the steering wheel. Don’t be afraid, nothing under his control can ever be out of control. Mastered by Christ, you can handle anything. I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

 

 

Grace and Peace to You My Friends