What I Learned from Inability to Accept Help (Guess Blogger)

My name is Rebekah Lynn, and as a Woman of God and a single mother of three, my life revolves around serving God and my family. But it wasn’t always this way, my life and my story is far from perfect…but by the Grace of God, I have overcome many obstacles in my life that could have completely destroyed me.  I am normally a very private person, and I don’t usually like to share a lot. But as a saved woman, and a disciple of Christ I realized that my life is not about me. And once you have come to learn the truth about what Jesus has done for us, you have to share it. So that’s what I’m doing…I’m sharing His love and the transformational work He has done and will continually do in me.

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One day I ordered an Uber when I had my double stroller with me. After putting my children in the car I then head towards the trunk. I start to fold it up to put it inside of the trunk when the Uber driver comes over and asks me if I’d like his help. I politely tell him “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. Another day I’m about to walk into my grandmother’s house carrying my baby in his car seat, his diaper bag, my purse and a bag of food. My father who was already outside asked to help me, and I replied: “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. No matter if I am at the grocery store, laundry mat, in my home, or even someone offering to hold the door open for me I always reply, “No thank you, I’ve got it!”

An inability to accept help

Well one day after refusing to accept help, it dawned on me that this indeed was exactly what I was doing, refusing to accept help. Especially from men. I began to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Do I think I’m too good for the help? No, not at all. Am I even realizing at that moment that someone is offering to make things a little easier for me? No, I don’t think I do. So as I sat in deep thought, I realized I had many reasons for doing such things but I’ll only name 3:

#1

I am a single mother and I have been for almost 9 years now. I literally do everything myself. Late nights, early mornings, doctor’s appointments, parent/teachers conferences, sports, EVERYTHING. I do it all.

#2

I was raised by a single mother. My grandmothers are single mothers, although they the have all been married after the divorce they became single mothers. My aunts, cousins, all my major influences of womanhood and motherhood have been from single mothers. The strong black woman.

#3

I am not very trusting of people, especially men. Because of life experiences, I tend to believe people always have a hidden agenda. Some men think that a single woman with children must be damaged, insecure, or weak. And out of protection for myself and my children, I naturally have a guard up against men.

For example, I lived in Texas for a year by myself with no male family members around. I couldn’t go to the grocery store or even church without some male thinking I needed their assistance. One time a man at this church I had been to a few times and was considering joining offered to give me rides to places because he had noticed I didn’t have a car at the time. He insisted I needed help getting to stores for my children’s necessities and “maybe one day you’ll invite me over for dinner”. Of course, I declined, I also told his Pastor on him and never returned to that church

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Accepting healing

After analyzing these reasons, I began to recognize God was revealing things that needed to be healed. Although I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being a strong independent woman. Or a strong independent black woman for that matter, I do not want to be unable to accept help.  No one wants to block their own blessings. Not only that but I will be married one day and I do not want to carry that type of baggage into a marriage. Yes, I said baggage because for me it would be. It is a biblical truth that the woman is the helpmate, but a husband is a wife’s security and support. How would I be emotionally available to accept that level of support if I cannot accept the small, noncommittal instances right now?

God was also and most importantly revealing to me my level of trust and submission to Him. Now, of course, being a saved woman I know that I am nothing without GOD and I need Him every single day. But if I think I can handle everything by myself, when do I need God? Where do my faith and complete trust in Him come in? God desires for us to not only realize we need him for everything but for us to act like we know! And He WANTS us to need him for EVERYTHING. I can’t live a life completely dependent on God if I am still trying to be the one in control.

Surrendering control

So I began pouring out my heart before Him, being completely vulnerable and surrendered. I laid all the things I TRY to control at his feet, my insecurities, and worries and even wrote each one out on a piece of paper. This was an exercise I read about that truly helped me.Then I laid them out one by one before Him while praying on my knees. I want to be fully surrendered to God, I AM sold out! I want His will to be done in my life not my own. And to be an empty vessel for Him to use however He may choose. I cannot be empty by holding on to control. And that includes accepting the help He provides no matter how it comes. Trusting that he will not leave me to figure it out on my own (Joshua 1:9) and to give me the discernment to test the true intentions of the person offering. (Proverbs 18:15)

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Healing is a process

I know it will be a process but as soon as I accepted the healing God offered, it already began. It will be exciting to see the changes, and the growth as I continually become the woman of God He wants me to be. I’ve been learning that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. Being able to realize you can’t do it on your own and submitting that control to God is key to our trust in Him. And recognizing that blessings come in many forms no matter how “small” they may seem. I want to be grateful at all times for all things God has done for me, even in the hard times.

So I hope you all will keep me in your prayers as I continue this lifetime journey of being like Christ. And I will continue to pray for you. I Pray we all continue to grow into the people God called us to be, and living our best lives! God bless!

Thank you so much Rebekah Lynn for your post, you can find more about Rebekah Lynn and her writings at  xorebekahlynn.com

 

 

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The Science of Shhh! (Guess Blogger)

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I was thinking I had read something about saying Shhh! in Hebrew that had spiritual implications, almost like the shofar and driving off the enemy. As of writing this, I have been unable to find it, and for that I apologize.

Shhh! It is a very common way of asking people to be quiet, usually, with finger to the lips, it is a common and worldwide term, understood by most people. While the word,  “chasaah “, is Hebrew for silent, the word, “sheket “, is usually, hush.  “Sheket, yeled. “, is a way parents may tell their children to politely or not so politely, to shut up.

I think the Lord, though He gets angry, and is firm, thankfully, it only lasts a moment, has a soft touch about Him, the calm, stillness, rest, being undisturbed. His ” Sheket, yeled, “, is more of a hush child. Shhh is said to be a variation from the Middle Ages, of hush. There are lullabies with the world hush. Shhh is definitely a word for children and babies. But aren’t we His children? Sometimes, we just need the rest and quiet that draws His peace.

The ” Be still and know, I am God. ” of Psalm 46:10, has the implication of silence, the literal meaning is to sink low. It is like a bending, kneeling, a deliberate letting go of cares, there is healing in this verse as well. Can you really be that still, sure you can.

While Old Testament word, ” charash ” with the k sound means to plow or engrave, as the stripes on His back or being engraved on His palms or wrists, it also is used for deaf, and silent. Jesus was in the lonely places, the quiet or silent, place. He prayed quietly, and did not listen to the mocking or accusation, and did not address all of them, He knew what the Father told Him.

While Psalm 22:2 speaks of not rest, others like Psalm 39:2 and 61:1 use the feminine word , ” dumiyah “, a waiting or repose, the words, help my peace, indicates quiet and still.

Whether or not shhh runs off the devil or not, the rest, the quiet and peace that Jesus offers us does give us the calm, the peace, that  brings us strength and victory. The shaloam or shabbat shaloam, we all need. Also, the word pictures for the letter sheen in Hebrew. like our sh, is teeth or flames of fire.  Maybe, it is the quiet, that kind of shhh, that breaks the devils teeth or sends him to the lake of fire. We could all use a little hushing, and then shhh is nice for a while everyday. That may be the science of shhh, after all. Rebecca Jones / public domain

  • It occurred to me that I heard of a woman, a Pentecostal, I think, who used a certain term in prayer, it may have been a prayer language.  That may be what I am remembering, the exact phrase, I could not say, but the shhh sound was in it. And it made reference to the wicked one, we all need to run him off.

 

Thank you Rebecca, here a little information about Rebecca, I’m a writer, Christian, I love music and art. I am hoping to encourage women to follow their dreams and trust Jesus. I am always working on improving my blog, keeping with the theme of teaching women to rest and be the beloved, may multiply our grace, all for His glory.

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Brokenness

Isaiah 54-1.pngI know that some of you as you are reading these words that I have written, you are feeling broken within your heart. There are so many reasons that through out our lives that we feel this way, and one way is when you put your trust in someone or something instead of God and I too am guilt of this one. Too many times you open yourselves to trust another thinking that they have your best interest for you that you will not get hurt and somehow in the end we truly do .And when we do get disappointed or crush inside I know that all I want to do is run away to never be found again. I truly want to give up and not go forward why because as humans we are afraid of being hurt over and over again.  As I was going thru the different scriptures that I have highlight I come across these words from the book of Isaiah 54: 10 Through the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed.” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Once I read these words than read them again, I cry out to the Lord why Lord what have I done to be hurt in this way once again. My heart knows that through my brokenness I can draw closer to God. I am able to open up to him and simply pour out my heart knowing that he does understand my pain. His compassion for me is overflowing, and when I do open myself up to the Risen Lord his peace will fill my spirit that transcends understanding. I need to stop trying to figure everything out on my own. Instead, I need to lean on him, letting my head rest on his shoulders, and while I am resting I need to know that he will be watching over me and all that concerns me. I need to continue to trust in the Master in the depths of my being where he lives in union with me. Jesus healing work in me is most effective when I am trusting him. As I read these words more than once from Isaiah I need to remember how he has compassion for me. No matter how desperate my circumstances can be, the one thing I can always count on is Jesus unfailing love for me.

 

Grace and Peace to You My Friends