What I Learned from Inability to Accept Help (Guess Blogger)

My name is Rebekah Lynn, and as a Woman of God and a single mother of three, my life revolves around serving God and my family. But it wasn’t always this way, my life and my story is far from perfect…but by the Grace of God, I have overcome many obstacles in my life that could have completely destroyed me.  I am normally a very private person, and I don’t usually like to share a lot. But as a saved woman, and a disciple of Christ I realized that my life is not about me. And once you have come to learn the truth about what Jesus has done for us, you have to share it. So that’s what I’m doing…I’m sharing His love and the transformational work He has done and will continually do in me.

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One day I ordered an Uber when I had my double stroller with me. After putting my children in the car I then head towards the trunk. I start to fold it up to put it inside of the trunk when the Uber driver comes over and asks me if I’d like his help. I politely tell him “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. Another day I’m about to walk into my grandmother’s house carrying my baby in his car seat, his diaper bag, my purse and a bag of food. My father who was already outside asked to help me, and I replied: “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. No matter if I am at the grocery store, laundry mat, in my home, or even someone offering to hold the door open for me I always reply, “No thank you, I’ve got it!”

An inability to accept help

Well one day after refusing to accept help, it dawned on me that this indeed was exactly what I was doing, refusing to accept help. Especially from men. I began to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Do I think I’m too good for the help? No, not at all. Am I even realizing at that moment that someone is offering to make things a little easier for me? No, I don’t think I do. So as I sat in deep thought, I realized I had many reasons for doing such things but I’ll only name 3:

#1

I am a single mother and I have been for almost 9 years now. I literally do everything myself. Late nights, early mornings, doctor’s appointments, parent/teachers conferences, sports, EVERYTHING. I do it all.

#2

I was raised by a single mother. My grandmothers are single mothers, although they the have all been married after the divorce they became single mothers. My aunts, cousins, all my major influences of womanhood and motherhood have been from single mothers. The strong black woman.

#3

I am not very trusting of people, especially men. Because of life experiences, I tend to believe people always have a hidden agenda. Some men think that a single woman with children must be damaged, insecure, or weak. And out of protection for myself and my children, I naturally have a guard up against men.

For example, I lived in Texas for a year by myself with no male family members around. I couldn’t go to the grocery store or even church without some male thinking I needed their assistance. One time a man at this church I had been to a few times and was considering joining offered to give me rides to places because he had noticed I didn’t have a car at the time. He insisted I needed help getting to stores for my children’s necessities and “maybe one day you’ll invite me over for dinner”. Of course, I declined, I also told his Pastor on him and never returned to that church

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Accepting healing

After analyzing these reasons, I began to recognize God was revealing things that needed to be healed. Although I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being a strong independent woman. Or a strong independent black woman for that matter, I do not want to be unable to accept help.  No one wants to block their own blessings. Not only that but I will be married one day and I do not want to carry that type of baggage into a marriage. Yes, I said baggage because for me it would be. It is a biblical truth that the woman is the helpmate, but a husband is a wife’s security and support. How would I be emotionally available to accept that level of support if I cannot accept the small, noncommittal instances right now?

God was also and most importantly revealing to me my level of trust and submission to Him. Now, of course, being a saved woman I know that I am nothing without GOD and I need Him every single day. But if I think I can handle everything by myself, when do I need God? Where do my faith and complete trust in Him come in? God desires for us to not only realize we need him for everything but for us to act like we know! And He WANTS us to need him for EVERYTHING. I can’t live a life completely dependent on God if I am still trying to be the one in control.

Surrendering control

So I began pouring out my heart before Him, being completely vulnerable and surrendered. I laid all the things I TRY to control at his feet, my insecurities, and worries and even wrote each one out on a piece of paper. This was an exercise I read about that truly helped me.Then I laid them out one by one before Him while praying on my knees. I want to be fully surrendered to God, I AM sold out! I want His will to be done in my life not my own. And to be an empty vessel for Him to use however He may choose. I cannot be empty by holding on to control. And that includes accepting the help He provides no matter how it comes. Trusting that he will not leave me to figure it out on my own (Joshua 1:9) and to give me the discernment to test the true intentions of the person offering. (Proverbs 18:15)

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Healing is a process

I know it will be a process but as soon as I accepted the healing God offered, it already began. It will be exciting to see the changes, and the growth as I continually become the woman of God He wants me to be. I’ve been learning that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. Being able to realize you can’t do it on your own and submitting that control to God is key to our trust in Him. And recognizing that blessings come in many forms no matter how “small” they may seem. I want to be grateful at all times for all things God has done for me, even in the hard times.

So I hope you all will keep me in your prayers as I continue this lifetime journey of being like Christ. And I will continue to pray for you. I Pray we all continue to grow into the people God called us to be, and living our best lives! God bless!

Thank you so much Rebekah Lynn for your post, you can find more about Rebekah Lynn and her writings at  xorebekahlynn.com

 

 

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Abba Dance The Day You Were Born (Guess Blogger)

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Have you heard that expression that angels or God danced the day you were born? Well, He did, and so did angels. ( melakh / messenger ) Abba was certainly proud of His creation. Abba is Hebrew for Father and Jesus died so we could know His, He called Him God, when He normally said Father, from the from the cross, He gave us a Father.
Abba is spelled with the alef and bet in Hebrew and the symbols are for strength and a house. While God intended for men to be the strong and loving head of the house, it is He who should actually be the head of the house. Joshua says that he and his house will serve the Lord.

But what about dancing? We know angels rejoice over the salvation of a sinner but Zephaniah 3:17 says that He rejoices over us with singing and quiets us with His love. Now is He singing without dancing? I think not. Oh, I’m sure He could kick up His heels if He wanted to, but I think He is a slow dancer. You can stand on His shoes and dance with Him like you would an earthly father. Shoes often represent peace in the Christian dream interpretations. Remember, the beautiful ones that carry the gospel is peace.
How peaceful to see a couple glide effortlessly across the dance floor, or the ballet. There are many expressions for dance in the Hebrew language, and at the end of the post I will leave you a few and you can think how He might have danced on your birthday, at your wedding or how He will someday in the future.

I wanted to teach a little Hebrew, as I have enjoyed it for years. I know a little, but unless it’s in a prayer language, I neither read or write it. And I didn’t want to overload it like a college course, just to give you a sense of the beauty of Christ, hidden in the depths of His Word, and they were written in Hebrew and Greek. I know of a church who says they study no Greek, and I imagine no Hebrew, but what a shame to miss out on something. When that something might have deeper revelation of Abba, something lost in translation.
I think it is a beautiful thing to be held in a loving Father’s arms as you attempt to follow in the steps of Christ. How graceful and peaceful is His love, and what a blessing to know He sings over us, perhaps even daily, morning and night, to both wake us and quiet us, and how wonderful to know He wipes away our tears and will one day wipe them forever, you can be sure as a sinner, saved by grace there was rejoicing, and be just as confident that Abba danced the day your were born. Rebecca Jones / pexels

Hebrew words for dance.
chal – to dance in a ring or circle, twirl or whirl, also machol, or machtot.
rakad – to skip or leap, like ballet.
kirker – to spin around,showing great emotion. Pour out your soul.
pizez – to leap, where we get pizzazz.
berach – to kneel. also bless/
gil – to spin around in joy, to rejoice.
Ya Gil – God dancing.

Thank you so much Rebecca for sharing your post here at quietmomentswithgod, you can also follow at adaughtergiftoflove.wordpress.com

Forgiving Yourself And Others

Hebrews 10.pngThis letter to the Hebrews went to Christians in danger of slipping back into Judaism because of persecution. It interprets the Old Testament, explaining many Jewish practices as symbols that prepared the way for Christ. It stresses that Christ was from God and is higher than angles. Moses, Joshua, and any priest or sacrifice. As we read in Hebrews 6:15-18 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says: This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. Then he adds: Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

In the book of Matthew 18:21-35 one of Jesus’ disciples named Peter ask Jesus a simple question, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me. haven’t we all asked this question at least once? Then for some reason Peter answers his own question seven times? But Jesus’ answer was seventy times seven, you mean then 470 times?  In other words there is no limit on how many times that we should forgive one another. I am sure that there is some who are reading this is saying to themselves, do you realized what so and so did to me, and you want me to forgive them (NEVER) Jesus then told a parable of the servant forgiven a great debt who has ask for mercy from his master for the great debt, and so the master showed great compassion on the servant and forgave him all that he owe. However, this same servant did not show compassion on others who had owe him money. This parable teaches that lesson which runs through all the New Testament that a man or woman must forgive to be forgiven. If we do not show compassion on others and forgive them when they for what ever reason sin against us how do we expect God to do the same when we do sin, and believe me we all do plenty of that day in and day out. Another important lessons is this to learn to forgive yourself as well, God knows you are not perfect and if He can forgive you, you must learn to forgive yourself. When as children we learn the Lord’s pray in Sunday School in that pray the word trespassers or debts, the word F-O-R-G-I-V-E means just that, forgive someone and yourself.  Jesus already paid the price for our sins when he died on the cross, and we are forgiving. Praise His Name we are!

Grace and Peace to You My Friends