What I Learned from Inability to Accept Help (Guess Blogger)

My name is Rebekah Lynn, and as a Woman of God and a single mother of three, my life revolves around serving God and my family. But it wasn’t always this way, my life and my story is far from perfect…but by the Grace of God, I have overcome many obstacles in my life that could have completely destroyed me.  I am normally a very private person, and I don’t usually like to share a lot. But as a saved woman, and a disciple of Christ I realized that my life is not about me. And once you have come to learn the truth about what Jesus has done for us, you have to share it. So that’s what I’m doing…I’m sharing His love and the transformational work He has done and will continually do in me.

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One day I ordered an Uber when I had my double stroller with me. After putting my children in the car I then head towards the trunk. I start to fold it up to put it inside of the trunk when the Uber driver comes over and asks me if I’d like his help. I politely tell him “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. Another day I’m about to walk into my grandmother’s house carrying my baby in his car seat, his diaper bag, my purse and a bag of food. My father who was already outside asked to help me, and I replied: “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. No matter if I am at the grocery store, laundry mat, in my home, or even someone offering to hold the door open for me I always reply, “No thank you, I’ve got it!”

An inability to accept help

Well one day after refusing to accept help, it dawned on me that this indeed was exactly what I was doing, refusing to accept help. Especially from men. I began to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Do I think I’m too good for the help? No, not at all. Am I even realizing at that moment that someone is offering to make things a little easier for me? No, I don’t think I do. So as I sat in deep thought, I realized I had many reasons for doing such things but I’ll only name 3:

#1

I am a single mother and I have been for almost 9 years now. I literally do everything myself. Late nights, early mornings, doctor’s appointments, parent/teachers conferences, sports, EVERYTHING. I do it all.

#2

I was raised by a single mother. My grandmothers are single mothers, although they the have all been married after the divorce they became single mothers. My aunts, cousins, all my major influences of womanhood and motherhood have been from single mothers. The strong black woman.

#3

I am not very trusting of people, especially men. Because of life experiences, I tend to believe people always have a hidden agenda. Some men think that a single woman with children must be damaged, insecure, or weak. And out of protection for myself and my children, I naturally have a guard up against men.

For example, I lived in Texas for a year by myself with no male family members around. I couldn’t go to the grocery store or even church without some male thinking I needed their assistance. One time a man at this church I had been to a few times and was considering joining offered to give me rides to places because he had noticed I didn’t have a car at the time. He insisted I needed help getting to stores for my children’s necessities and “maybe one day you’ll invite me over for dinner”. Of course, I declined, I also told his Pastor on him and never returned to that church

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Accepting healing

After analyzing these reasons, I began to recognize God was revealing things that needed to be healed. Although I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being a strong independent woman. Or a strong independent black woman for that matter, I do not want to be unable to accept help.  No one wants to block their own blessings. Not only that but I will be married one day and I do not want to carry that type of baggage into a marriage. Yes, I said baggage because for me it would be. It is a biblical truth that the woman is the helpmate, but a husband is a wife’s security and support. How would I be emotionally available to accept that level of support if I cannot accept the small, noncommittal instances right now?

God was also and most importantly revealing to me my level of trust and submission to Him. Now, of course, being a saved woman I know that I am nothing without GOD and I need Him every single day. But if I think I can handle everything by myself, when do I need God? Where do my faith and complete trust in Him come in? God desires for us to not only realize we need him for everything but for us to act like we know! And He WANTS us to need him for EVERYTHING. I can’t live a life completely dependent on God if I am still trying to be the one in control.

Surrendering control

So I began pouring out my heart before Him, being completely vulnerable and surrendered. I laid all the things I TRY to control at his feet, my insecurities, and worries and even wrote each one out on a piece of paper. This was an exercise I read about that truly helped me.Then I laid them out one by one before Him while praying on my knees. I want to be fully surrendered to God, I AM sold out! I want His will to be done in my life not my own. And to be an empty vessel for Him to use however He may choose. I cannot be empty by holding on to control. And that includes accepting the help He provides no matter how it comes. Trusting that he will not leave me to figure it out on my own (Joshua 1:9) and to give me the discernment to test the true intentions of the person offering. (Proverbs 18:15)

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Healing is a process

I know it will be a process but as soon as I accepted the healing God offered, it already began. It will be exciting to see the changes, and the growth as I continually become the woman of God He wants me to be. I’ve been learning that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. Being able to realize you can’t do it on your own and submitting that control to God is key to our trust in Him. And recognizing that blessings come in many forms no matter how “small” they may seem. I want to be grateful at all times for all things God has done for me, even in the hard times.

So I hope you all will keep me in your prayers as I continue this lifetime journey of being like Christ. And I will continue to pray for you. I Pray we all continue to grow into the people God called us to be, and living our best lives! God bless!

Thank you so much Rebekah Lynn for your post, you can find more about Rebekah Lynn and her writings at  xorebekahlynn.com

 

 

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The Birth of Jesus Foretold

Luke 1a.pngIn the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin. pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings. you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you. Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever, his kingdom will never end. How will this be, Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called, “the Son of God.” Even Elizabeth, your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.” I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. ” May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.                                                Luke 1:26-38

We have here an account of the mother of our Lord; though we are not to pray to her, yet we ought to praise God for her. Christ must be born miraculously. The angel’s address means only, Hail, thou that art the especially chosen and favored of the Most High, to attain the honor Jewish mothers have so long desired. This wondrous salutation and appearance troubled Mary. The angel then assured her that she had found favor with God, and would become the mother of a son whose name she should call Jesus, the Son of the Highest, one in a nature and perfection with the Lord God. JESUS! the name that refreshes the fainting spirits of humbled sinners; sweet to speak and sweet to hear, Jesus, a Savior! We know not his riches and our own poverty, therefore we run not to him; we perceive not that we are lost and perishing, therefore a Savior is a word of little relish. Were we convinced of the huge mass of guilt that lies upon us, and the wrath that hangs over us for it, ready to fall upon us, it would be our continual thought, Is the Savior mine? And that we might find him so, we should trample on all that hinders our way to him. Mary’s reply to the angel was the language of faith and humble admiration, and she asked no sign for the confirming her faith. Without controversy, great was the mystery of godliness, God manifest in the flesh, 1 Timothy 3:16. Beyond all questions, the mystery from which true godliness springs is great: He appeared in the flesh, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world was taken up in glory.

Grace and Peace to You My Friends

Possibilities

Matthew 19.jpgJust then a man came up to Jesus and asked, ” Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life? “Why do you ask me about what is good? Jesus replied. There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” Which one? he inquired, Jesus replied , You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself. All theses I have kept, the young man said, “What do I still lack? Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, ” Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter in the kingdom of heaven, Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God? When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked,” Who then can be saved ? Jesus looked at them and said, ” With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”           Matthew 19:16-26

Wow as we read these words from the book of Matthew it is a lot to understand what is going on here. First off we can not worship God and money, it is one or the other. As you can remember when God gave Moses the ten commandments which is in the book of Exodus 20:1-21 God spoke these words You shall have no other Gods before me. It is only by God’s grace that any of us are saved, thru Jesus being crucified on the cross for all mankind. Our sins have separated us from God however Jesus bridge the gap between us and God. As we also read in Genesis 18:14 Is anything too hard for the Lord?  the answer is no. Long after child bearing years Abraham’s wife Sarah had a child called Isaac, everyone including Sarah thought it is impossible, yes for man but not for God. All thru scriptures we can read all the wonders that God has done, as well as he continues to do for us today. I remember when I was first married and I long to become a mom however, the doctors didn’t give me and my husband much hope, my answer that I told my doctor at that time, I don’t know how or I don’t know when that God will bless us with a child. And within two months I was carrying a child and gave birth to a baby girl on my own birthday. We all seem to forget that we serve an Awesome God, the Great I Am, our Creator, and their is nothing impossible for him to do. I remember the year my daughter was born and I wanted to help with the children’s program at my church during the summer called vacation bible school, everyone told me it was impossible. I stood up and said I can not find the word can’t anyone in scriptures It say I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength Philippians 4:13. From then on and for more than fifteen years I directed the program. It wasn’t me but God working thru me to do his will and believe me I love every moment of it. You see children always have faith even when we as adults don’t understand but they do, that yes God exists and that God can do anything.

 

Grace and Peace to You My Friends