What I Learned from Inability to Accept Help (Guess Blogger)

My name is Rebekah Lynn, and as a Woman of God and a single mother of three, my life revolves around serving God and my family. But it wasn’t always this way, my life and my story is far from perfect…but by the Grace of God, I have overcome many obstacles in my life that could have completely destroyed me.  I am normally a very private person, and I don’t usually like to share a lot. But as a saved woman, and a disciple of Christ I realized that my life is not about me. And once you have come to learn the truth about what Jesus has done for us, you have to share it. So that’s what I’m doing…I’m sharing His love and the transformational work He has done and will continually do in me.

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One day I ordered an Uber when I had my double stroller with me. After putting my children in the car I then head towards the trunk. I start to fold it up to put it inside of the trunk when the Uber driver comes over and asks me if I’d like his help. I politely tell him “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. Another day I’m about to walk into my grandmother’s house carrying my baby in his car seat, his diaper bag, my purse and a bag of food. My father who was already outside asked to help me, and I replied: “No thank you, I’ve got it!”. No matter if I am at the grocery store, laundry mat, in my home, or even someone offering to hold the door open for me I always reply, “No thank you, I’ve got it!”

An inability to accept help

Well one day after refusing to accept help, it dawned on me that this indeed was exactly what I was doing, refusing to accept help. Especially from men. I began to wonder why. What is wrong with me? Do I think I’m too good for the help? No, not at all. Am I even realizing at that moment that someone is offering to make things a little easier for me? No, I don’t think I do. So as I sat in deep thought, I realized I had many reasons for doing such things but I’ll only name 3:

#1

I am a single mother and I have been for almost 9 years now. I literally do everything myself. Late nights, early mornings, doctor’s appointments, parent/teachers conferences, sports, EVERYTHING. I do it all.

#2

I was raised by a single mother. My grandmothers are single mothers, although they the have all been married after the divorce they became single mothers. My aunts, cousins, all my major influences of womanhood and motherhood have been from single mothers. The strong black woman.

#3

I am not very trusting of people, especially men. Because of life experiences, I tend to believe people always have a hidden agenda. Some men think that a single woman with children must be damaged, insecure, or weak. And out of protection for myself and my children, I naturally have a guard up against men.

For example, I lived in Texas for a year by myself with no male family members around. I couldn’t go to the grocery store or even church without some male thinking I needed their assistance. One time a man at this church I had been to a few times and was considering joining offered to give me rides to places because he had noticed I didn’t have a car at the time. He insisted I needed help getting to stores for my children’s necessities and “maybe one day you’ll invite me over for dinner”. Of course, I declined, I also told his Pastor on him and never returned to that church

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Accepting healing

After analyzing these reasons, I began to recognize God was revealing things that needed to be healed. Although I don’t feel there is anything wrong with being a strong independent woman. Or a strong independent black woman for that matter, I do not want to be unable to accept help.  No one wants to block their own blessings. Not only that but I will be married one day and I do not want to carry that type of baggage into a marriage. Yes, I said baggage because for me it would be. It is a biblical truth that the woman is the helpmate, but a husband is a wife’s security and support. How would I be emotionally available to accept that level of support if I cannot accept the small, noncommittal instances right now?

God was also and most importantly revealing to me my level of trust and submission to Him. Now, of course, being a saved woman I know that I am nothing without GOD and I need Him every single day. But if I think I can handle everything by myself, when do I need God? Where do my faith and complete trust in Him come in? God desires for us to not only realize we need him for everything but for us to act like we know! And He WANTS us to need him for EVERYTHING. I can’t live a life completely dependent on God if I am still trying to be the one in control.

Surrendering control

So I began pouring out my heart before Him, being completely vulnerable and surrendered. I laid all the things I TRY to control at his feet, my insecurities, and worries and even wrote each one out on a piece of paper. This was an exercise I read about that truly helped me.Then I laid them out one by one before Him while praying on my knees. I want to be fully surrendered to God, I AM sold out! I want His will to be done in my life not my own. And to be an empty vessel for Him to use however He may choose. I cannot be empty by holding on to control. And that includes accepting the help He provides no matter how it comes. Trusting that he will not leave me to figure it out on my own (Joshua 1:9) and to give me the discernment to test the true intentions of the person offering. (Proverbs 18:15)

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Healing is a process

I know it will be a process but as soon as I accepted the healing God offered, it already began. It will be exciting to see the changes, and the growth as I continually become the woman of God He wants me to be. I’ve been learning that accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. Being able to realize you can’t do it on your own and submitting that control to God is key to our trust in Him. And recognizing that blessings come in many forms no matter how “small” they may seem. I want to be grateful at all times for all things God has done for me, even in the hard times.

So I hope you all will keep me in your prayers as I continue this lifetime journey of being like Christ. And I will continue to pray for you. I Pray we all continue to grow into the people God called us to be, and living our best lives! God bless!

Thank you so much Rebekah Lynn for your post, you can find more about Rebekah Lynn and her writings at  xorebekahlynn.com

 

 

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Why A Heart Needs To Rest (Guess Blogger)

I would like to introduce to you Rebecca Jones:

I’m a writer, Christian, I love music and art. I am hoping to encourage others, to inspire them to follow their dreams and trust Jesus. I am always working on improving my blog, keeping with the theme of teaching women to rest and be the beloved, and to depend on the mercy and grace of our Lord. It’s all for His glory. Thank you reading or following, blessings. https://www.pinterest.com/beckyspage1916/

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Why does a heart need to rest? Proverbs 23:4 says to guard it, for out of it flows everything you do. Sometimes, it translates it that issues flow. And they do. I was guilty of not guarding mine. I let things said and done hurt me to the extreme. My heart was overwhelmed and I had to turn to Jesus. I truthfully, don’t think I would have survived had I not.
I am very good with words, for God’s glory. I try to choose them wisely. I highly recommend reading Proverbs about words. Soft words, kind words, and healing words, all do a heart good. The Bible is full of love and poetry. John is the best book to read about God’s love. Sow these words into your heart so you can meditate on them and walk in them, and speak them at a moment’s notice.

You, as a believer, have an enemy. The devil would like nothing better than to steal from your heart and he will if you let him. Mark 4 and Matthew 17 describe the sower and how he comes immediately for the Word’s sake. And he will wriggle it out of your heart, break it out, rip it out. Anyway, he can get it! Using anybody he can. Family, fellow Christians, it doesn’t have to be someone you may not know or pay much attention. You have to get close to inflict these wounds.
Look at how the disciples argued, Jesus rebuked Peter, there was contention and the worst of all Judas. Jesus loved them all and look how they treated Him. They even ran when He was arrested. Jesus is the most forgiving person ever and look how people treat Him. even now, they call Him when they need Him but how often can we say we talk to Him about little things, big decisions or anything at all. Even a moment of thanks, ” Where are the other nine?, He asked of those He healed.

I talk to Him all the time now. I used to just pray, but now I talk to Him as a friend, a best friend. I tell Him things I can’t tell anyone else. Nothing extreme, just sorting things out, so I won’t make the same mistakes. Your heart needs to rest and that’s more than less stress, watching your diet or even medication. It’s His rest, work for it, concentrate and focus on the healer of hearts, not the breaker. And I’m not just talking romance here. Love is so much more than that.
His love is deeper than a physical relationship, yet, as intimate as a marriage. I love Jesus and He loves me even more! So let your heart rest and safely trust in Him, you can trust your heart if He’s in it! Watch your words. His heart beats for you. Rest! So your heart will receive His peace and that passes understanding. Rebecca Jones

A heart at peace gives life to the body. Proverbs 14:30
He left us His peace and it is important to speak that into our hearts and spirits. Even for health to our bodies. John 14:27, We also need the peace that passes understand to guard our hearts. Philippians 4:7

Happy Father’s Day

Proverbs 22.jpgThe book of Proverbs was written by King Solomon, who was the son of King David, the king of Israel. The proverbs are saying, They are based on the “fear of the Lord,” and other advice on every imaginable area of life. The style of wise living described here leads to fulfillment and contentment. Here Solomon is telling parents in his time as well as the parents of today, the most important way to raise children. Children are God’s give to all of us and therefore we should take care of his most precious thing God has given to us. No doubt there any many, too many of you out there have fathers who did not love you, hurt you in some way, or left with a lot of unanswered questions, and believe me when I tell you that you are not alone, I was one of those children left with pain and unanswered questions, that will never be answered for me. However, overtime I look to God not only as a Heavenly Father, but I also look to God as my dad, the dad that I so long to have in my own life which is truly impossible for me. Jesus called God, “Abba”, Father, and that is what I have learn to do.  There are so many wonderful and awesome dads out in the world that God has created and he has chosen you to raise his children. To love your child (children) with all of your hearts, and unconditional love, just like our Heavenly Father loves you dad, love your children. Teach them how much God loves them just as they are, even thro God is perfect we do not need to be perfect in order to have a relationship with him. When parents raise their children by God’s instructions they too in turn will do the same for your grand-children, and when they come to a time in their own lives to leave your next you can rest assure you did your very best.

 

4342-dad-father-day-poems-from-daughter.jpg Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s out there

 

Grace and Peace to you My friends